What is Codependency?
The term codependency is well-known yet much misunderstood. Many people use the term to describe someone who is overly dependent. While this is partly true, there is more to it than meets the eye. When one person is overly reliant on their partner, they are dependent. When their partner affirms, supports, and enables this dependency, they are co-dependent.
Why Codependency Occurs
Why would someone want another person to be overly attached to them? Because it fulfills an emotional desire to be needed. This compulsion to caretake begins earnestly, but can cause and perpetuate a destructive pattern of emotional highs and lows in the relationship. Often, there are underlying emotional issues in the codependent person including low self-esteem, avoidance, lack of boundaries, and controlling behavior just to name a few. However, there is a way off this roller coaster of emotions.
Counseling can help you pinpoint unhealthy patterns in your relationship that are causing so much pain. You and your partner can feel closer again through speaking up, setting boundaries, and working on oneself in counseling or as partners in couples counseling. If you are a person of faith, Christian counseling can help you learn to "speak the truth in love," set boundaries, and learn to properly take care of yourself so you can more fully love others.