Marriage and Couples Counseling
Relationships are complex. The reason why some relationships work out and others don't can seem like a mystery. If you are in a marriage or relationship that has reached an impasse, there is hope. We have a program for couples with distinct phases that utilize specific interventions. For some couples, this process only needs to take a few sessions, for others, it may take several. This goal is to address negative cycles and establish healthier ways of relating to each other as you grow closer to God.
1. Discernment Phase - Many couples who start counseling are in crisis. This may not always be the case, but the first step is to discern where both partners are at in the relationship. Willpower is the desire for change. If both partners are fully invested, there is much better prognosis for improvement.
2. Assessment Phase - Willpower must be combined with waypower, which means outlining a way or path for success. We might use an assessment such as Prepare-Enrich or SYMBIS that both partners can complete. The items both partners respond to in these assessments are based on extensive research and are intended to help couples identify growth areas as well as unique strengths of their relationship.
3. Development Phase - This is where the hard work really begins. After assessing the issues that need to be worked on, we start to address the toxic patterns that keep couples stuck. Some couples might temporarily feel worse as raw emotions emerge and unresolved problems are faced head on. But it is necessary to till the soil so lasting growth can take root. The idea of waitpower evokes the reality that change happens over time—patience is needed for transformation to occur. We then introduce new ways of communicating, connecting, and bonding. If couples put in the hard work, change will come.
4. Maintenance Phase - Our goal is to help couples create a holy sanctuary in their marriage—a space between them where they commune together with God and feel securely connected with each other. We encourage couples to keep implementing what is working as they develop a new pattern of attachment that is more mature, healthy, and based on holy love.
Every couple is different, so the path changes slightly based on what is needed and how each couple processes and learns. Our approach is pro-marriage and integrates hope-centered interventions based on extensive research.
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Tres Adames is listed by Three Best Rated as one of the top marriage counselors in the city.